chaotic rhapsody

Here is the link to the result of the tests I took 5 years ago:
http://mitch-elle.livejournal.com/21440.html

I was an INTP then.

Things have changed. And I don't know if that's possible. I am an ISFP now.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes3.asp

You are:
- very expressed introvert
- moderately expressed sensing personality
- moderately expressed feeling personality
- slightly expressed perceiving personality

*****

Jung Explorer Test
Actualized type: ISFP
(who you are)

ISFP - "Artist". Interested in the fine arts. Expression primarily through action or art form. The senses are keener than in other types. 8.8% of total population.

Preferred type: ISFJ
(who you prefer to be)

ISFJ - "Conservator". Desires to be of service and to minister to individual needs - very loyal. 13.8% of total population.

Attraction type: ESFJ

(who you are attracted to)

ESFJ - "Seller". Most sociable of all types. Nurturer of harmony. Outstanding host or hostesses. 12.3% of total population.

Take Jung Explorer Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Introverted (I) 61.76% Extroverted (E) 38.24%
Sensing (S) 51.52% Intuitive (N) 48.48%
Thinking (T) 50% Feeling (F) 50%
Perceiving (P) 70% Judging (J) 30%

Another test with less questions from the same website gave me these results:
Introverted (I) 68.57% Extroverted (E) 31.43%
Sensing (S) 57.89% Intuitive (N) 42.11%
Feeling (F) 51.43% Thinking (T) 48.57%
Perceiving (P) 58.97% Judging (J) 41.03%

Jung Type Descriptions:
disorganized, timid, prone to discouragement, socially uncomfortable, does not like leadership, suggestible, not self confident, not aggressive, lower energy, fearful, anxious, easily distracted, prone to discontentment, guarded, not confrontational, prone to longing for a stabilizing relationship, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings, easily disturbed, fears drawing attention to self, prone to confusion, private, second guesses self, prone to quitting, underachiever, fears rejection in relationships, emotionally moody, prone to sadness, dislikes change, indecisive, modest, doubting, prone to laziness


*****

Introverted Sensing Feeling Perceiving (ISFP)
http://typelogic.com/isfp.html

ISFPs are the first to hear the different drummer. Many eagerly plunge into new fashions, avant garde experiences, 'hip' trends--some even setting the trends.

More in touch with the reality of their senses than their INFP counterparts, ISFPs live in the here and now. Their impulses yearn to be free, and are often loosed when others least expect it. The ISFP who continually represses these impulses feels 'dead inside' and may eventually cut and run. (One ISFP friend has become nonambulatory within the past few years. He will still, on impulse, leave home in the middle of the night and go to Las Vegas or wherever, regardless of the difficulties of his physical condition.)

ISFPs may be quite charming and ingratiating on first acquaintance, flowing with compliments which may (or may not) be deserved. On other occasions, the same individual may be aloof and detached. Some ISFP males are fiercely competitive, especially in sport or table games, and may have great difficulty losing. This competitive nature, also seen in other SP types, sometimes fosters 'lucky,' 'gut' feelings and a willingness to take risks.

Organized education is difficult for the majority of ISFPs, and many drop out before finishing secondary education. Their interest can be held better through experiential learning, at which many excel. ISFPs will practice playing an instrument or honing a favored skill for hours on end, not so much as practice as for the joy of the experience.

Differential diagnosis:

ISFPs are less fantasy-oriented than INFPs. These types are often confused, however, INFPs lean strongly to daydreams, poetry, prose and more philosophical pursuits; ISFPs often live out 'id' experiences rather than writing or even talking about them.

ISFJs are driven by the conventional, by 'should's and 'ought's; ISFPs internalize their Feeling (by nature a judging function) which bursts out spontaneously and leaves as quickly and mysteriously as it came.

Because of these variant expressions of Feeling judgement, ISFPs are sometimes confused with ESFJs, but keep themselves more aloof, more often concealing the feelings that ESFJs are so apt to expose.

ESFPs express thoughts more readily (and, in the main, skillfully). ISFPs can and do perform admirably in the spotlight, but generally have little to say about the performance. For example, few ISFPs would be disc-jockeys, a field strongly represented by ES_Ps.

*****

Portrait of an ISFP
http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISFP.html

The Artist

As an ISFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in via your five sense in a literal, concrete fashion.

ISFPs live in the world of sensation possibilities. They are keenly in tune with the way things look, taste, sound, feel and smell. They have a strong aesthetic appreciation for art, and are likely to be artists in some form, because they are unusually gifted at creating and composing things which will strongly affect the senses. They have a strong set of values, which they strive to consistently meet in their lives. They need to feel as if they're living their lives in accordance with what they feel is right, and will rebel against anything which conflicts with that goal. They're likely to choose jobs and careers which allow them the freedom of working towards the realization of their value-oriented personal goals.

ISFPs tend to be quiet and reserved, and difficult to get to know well. They hold back their ideas and opinions except from those who they are closest to. They are likely to be kind, gentle and sensitive in their dealings with others. They are interested in contributing to people's sense of well-being and happiness, and will put a great deal of effort and energy into tasks which they believe in.

ISFPs have a strong affinity for aesthetics and beauty. They're likely to be animal lovers, and to have a true appreciation for the beauties of nature. They're original and independent, and need to have personal space. They value people who take the time to understand the ISFP, and who support the ISFP in pursuing their goals in their own, unique way. People who don't know them well may see their unique way of life as a sign of carefree light-heartedness, but the ISFP actually takes life very seriously, constantly gathering specific information and shifting it through their value systems, in search for clarification and underlying meaning.

ISFPs are action-oriented individuals. They are "doers", and are usually uncomfortable with theorizing concepts and ideas, unless they see a practical application. They learn best in a "hands-on" environment, and consequently may become easily bored with the traditional teaching methods, which emphasize abstract thinking. They do not like impersonal analysis, and are uncomfortable with the idea of making decisions based strictly on logic. Their strong value systems demand that decisions are evaluated against their subjective beliefs, rather than against some objective rules or laws.

ISFPs are extremely perceptive and aware of others. They constantly gather specific information about people, and seek to discover what it means. They are usually penetratingly accurate in their perceptions of others.

ISFPs are warm and sympathetic. They genuinely care about people, and are strongly service-oriented in their desire to please. They have an unusually deep well of caring for those who are close to them, and are likely to show their love through actions, rather than words.

ISFPs have no desire to lead or control others, just as they have no desire to be led or controlled by others. They need space and time alone to evaluate the circumstances of their life against their value system, and are likely to respect other people's needs for the same.

The ISFP is likely to not give themself enough credit for the things which they do extremely well. Their strong value systems can lead them to be intensely perfectionist, and cause them to judge themselves with unneccesary harshness.

The ISFP has many special gifts for the world, especially in the areas of creating artistic sensation, and selflessly serving others. Life is not likely to be extremely easy for the ISFP, because they take life so seriously, but they have the tools to make their lives and the lives of those close to them richly rewarding experiences.

Jungian functional preference ordering:

Dominant: Introverted Feeling
Auxilliary: Extraverted Sensing
Tertiary: Introverted Intuition
Inferior: Extraverted Thinking

ISFP Relationships

ISFPs are warmhearted, gentle people who take their commitments seriously, and seek lifelong relationships. They are very private people, who keep their true feelings and opinions reserved or hidden from others. This may cause them to constantly defer to their mates in their intimate relationships, which may cause problems if their mates are not extremely aware of the ISFP's feelings. Some ISFPs who are in the habit of not expressing their needs and feelings find themselves in situations throughout their life where they feel overshadowed, overlooked, or even "tread upon" by others. Highly practical and cynical by nature, these feelings may cause the ISFP to become bitter, and to either give up on their relationships, or to start using their relationships for their own personal gain. Although this problem is observed sometimes in the ISFP type, it does not seem to be present in those ISFPs who consistently express their feelings to those closest to them. These ISFPs have a very positive, warm outlook on life and love, and are not as likely to find themselves in relationships where they are taken for granted or taken advantage of. ISFPs go to great lengths to please their partners. They're very loyal and supportive, with a deep capacity for love. They detest conflict and discord, and highly value being seen and understood for who they are. They need space to live their lives in their own unique way, and will respect other's need for space.

ISFP Strengths
* Warm, friendly and affirming by nature
* Usually optimistic
* Good listeners
* Good at dealing with practical day-to-day concerns
* Flexible and laid-back, usually willing to defer to their mates
* Their love of aesthetic beauty and appreciation for function makes them likely to have attractive, functional homes
* Take their commitments seriously, and seek lifelong relationships
* Likely to value and respect other's personal space
* Likely to enjoy showing their affection through acts and deeds
* Sensuous and earthy

ISFP Weaknesses
* Not good at long-range financial (or other) planning
* Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
* Focused on enjoying the present moment, they may appear lazy or slow-moving at times
* Need to have their own space, and dislike having it invaded
* May be slow to show their affection with words
* Tendency to hold back their thoughts and feelings, unless drawn out
* May become overly cynical and practical

ISFPs as Friends
ISFPs are able to get along with most of the other personality types, although they tend to be reserved around those they don't know well. They will enjoy spending time with others who share their interests, and who understand and accept the ISFP for who they are. They greatly value their space and autonomy, and appreciate other's respect for that.

The ISFP is not likely to have much patience or tolerance for those who are strongly Judging. ISFPs celebrate their own uniqueness, as well as everybody else's, and don't appreciate being judged harshly for their differences.

In work settings, the ISFP is likely to get along with most everyone, unless someone inhabits their space too much, in which case sparks may fly. Generally, the ISFP is kind-hearted and generous with those they care about, and makes a true-blue friend.

...there's no try.

That's supposed to be my favorite quote. It's supposed to motivate me to 'do'. It's supposed to inspire me to give my all every time. That's what it's supposed to mean.

But I don't. I always don't.

If there's something you really want, it's but natural that you do everything in your power to get whatever it is. That's the best way. No regrets.

It's easy to nail the theory down, but when it comes to actual application I just can't pull it off. Forget wants, even getting hold of my needs seems to be always beyond arms' reach.

The words never come out right. My thoughts go haywire. I'm all over the place. Swallowed by embarrassment, I confine myself to the safety of solitude and fly to my own fantasy realm for solace.

I know what I have to do. It's just that, my guts can't stand any attempt.

*****

Do you catch your breath when I look at you?
Are you holding back like the way I do?
Cause I try and try to walk away
But I know this crush ain't going away.

I just finished crying over this one.

Q: Why do I keep watching movies like these when I'm almost certain I'll cry buckets afterward?
A: It's because I like these types of stories.

Q: WHY?? 　なんで？？
It's torture not being able to breathe and all. And yet...

There was also The Girl who Leaped through Time  時をかける少女. But that one and Koizora 恋空 is nothing compared to Heavenly Forest ただ君を愛してる where I suffocated, overexerted my tearducts and had a terrible headache several hours later.

I mean, it's physical torture.

だから　なんで？

There's a slight masochistic strain in here >..<

And ohmygoodness, HARUMA MIURA is totally HOT okaaay?

I am so dying to watch Kimi ni Todoke with him in it.

I am so busy doing other things than studying.

I am sick of myself complaining about the whole bunch of things I have to study. That's why I've completely given up for this weekend. Tomorrow is always a new day. Another attempt on being a responsible student that I should be.

So what exactly have I been doing?

...going crazy over flumpool, over UVERworld, over various anime shows, over Japanese TV dramas, lurking over at lang-8.com, 5-second facebook visits, downloading videos, compressing videos, burning videos, downloading Bigfish games, playing Bigfish games...

Oh I also spent some time sorting out my auditing papers, hoping I'd get scared over the mountains of PSAs I should read. Guess it didn't really make an impression.

I will study for the remaining days. I will. I hope I will. Or else.

*****

Ryuta singing Quville is DOUBLE KILL.

That's all thank you.

During these past few weeks, I was constantly stuck in a raging maelstrom of academic and org-related responsibilities.

Well, thank goodness I'm done with most of them.

The first event project I organized as part of a team was finally finished. We held a two-day social entrepreneurship seminar and competition for high school students and yesterday was the second and final day. I know we had a lot of problems and there was certainly a lot that could have been improved, but it wasn't that bad at all.

I'm sick of exams for which I could do nothing but stare, guess, plug in values out of nowhere, sleep. I'm sick of that after exam mood where you're almost a hundred percent sure you've failed and yet you keep hoping for miracle. Or that you keep saying, I'll be sure to pass next time and yet the next time you find yourself saying the same thing again.

Staying up until morning is fun. Staying up until morning cramming is not.

This week is period of calm. Next week will be another string of exams, all deadly, all hell-sent.

I can't wait for sembreak to come.

*****

flumpool is currently wreaking havoc in my entire person. Demystifying the meaning behind their lyrics using my meager knowledge in Japanese had me spellbound for several days already.

Fun and very inspiring. I'm loving almost every song. The impression I get from their music is always related to the sky, flying, high altitude places, wind, lack of gravity, that sort of stuff. It's enchanting and relaxing.

Their vocalist, Yamamura Ryuta, is different matter altogether. It isn't enough that he's been given good looks and hotness and all that, HE CAN REALLY SING. And his earnestness and dedication as seen in their lives, pre-lives and album production documentaries are admirable.

I like the smiling Ryuta. There's also the guitar-playing Ryuta. But it's the singing Ryuta I like the best.

flumpool is a potential addition to my list of long-time addictions which just includes JRR Tolkien's works, UVERworld, Jane Austen's works, the Japanese language and Ikuta Toma.

*****

Wow. This post can already pass as one of my posts waaaay back in high school.

moron. just how low can your iq get? shit. i have a super major exam tomorrow for which i haven't finished studying yet. and now i'm in such a shitty mood. damn it all.

This is a journal post.

Wow.

The thing is, I shouldn't be here. I have an auditing exam on Monday that involves SEVEN freaking chapters and I'm just starting with the SECOND chapter because I slept the entire afternoon :-/

So... why?

I suddenly decided to organize my Firefox bookmarks and after some time, I arrived at Tomalicious community. And they have Unubore Deka available for download. At times like this, my fingers work faster than my head so before I knew it...

Here I am.

Good bye.

TEST HERE

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

From online buddy, Ian, thanks!

The earth doesn't want another star. What it needs is the magnificence of the sun, which is more than enough already. Not the insignificance of starlight in the night sky.

Don't you think it's kind of sad for the other stars? During the day, they're completely ignored when the sun is there. At night, they compete with each other for the smallest of attentions.

I hope each star has an earth of their own.



FYI: In the world of the Lord of the Rings, the word elen or in affix form "-el-" which can be found in Elvish names like Elessar, Elendil and Elrond means "star". Although the first two are translated as "Elfstone" and "Elf-friend", literally they would mean "Star-stone" and "Star-friend". The word eled meaning "Elf" also has as its affix form "-el-" thus the reason behind the double meaning. Elrond means "starry-dome".

FYI (about myself): That's the reason behind my Elle nickname. This Elle thing was a campaign I started the moment I got into college because I couldn't implement it back in grade school/high school. And I KNOW it's really stupid and all, but I don't care anymore. I actually enjoy the silliness of it. Haha.

ALL HAIL TOLKIEN!

This Tolkien fanaticism is really my panacea.

Here's another manga worth mentioning. After so long, I finished with the entire thing just this month :D

The anime was aired on TV back in 2004. Despite the dreadful ABS-CBN reception, I was enamoured by it, looking forward to weekends just so I could watch an episode. And then I couldn't be patient anymore and decided to buy the series. I had so much trouble obtaining my copy which I wouldn't dwell on anymore, but I have to say that that purchase was one of those that I never did regret. I started with the manga a bit later but eventually stopped without finishing it some time later (as is my usual habit).

I went totally crazy over this thing for while. When I decided to pick it up again, I guess I went and did that once more for the second time.

The story became darker/deeper than I expected. Contains some major plot twist shockers ("Eh what?" But that's what they really are! :p). A lot of interesting characters. And of course, pwede bang mawala ang mga eksenang bentang-benta sa target market nito? This is a shoujo manga, if you didn't know...

This thing's just overflowing with cute stuff. And I am so easily fascinated by cute stuff. And the art is really really good!

**I'm really not good with synopsis and stuff like that so head on to Wiki or some place else for one.
**The picture above is among the hundreds that I saved during the height of my Furuba addiction. No idea who I'd credit.